What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Which bands became massively popular for covering songs rather than recording originals?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Do snipers lay on top of tank turrets during combat?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Do other British people agree that the UK should reconquer Ireland?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

TEXT:

Why are most people broke?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Have you ever been forced to undress for money just once?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Why did my ex of 2 years move on so fast after he left me? Why does he act so cold towards me, and as if I don't exist?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Which brand is the best home slippers in the Middle East?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Is it possible for sociopaths to feel genuine remorse for their actions or thoughts towards others, even if they are skilled at hiding it from others?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why is it easy to make money in the USA?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

How do I get access to a dog for bestiality? I am currently unable to adopt a dog, but I want to know if there are still ways to have sex with one without getting caught.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Why is there so much free porn on the internet?

Make Nazis afraid again!